Can you believe I never wanted kids? I never felt that was ever my role in life. In fact I never really understood kids. They were the strangest little beings to me. They’re the most honest critics. Like how could I learn to tame that? LOL What would I say if something was wrong, or even just to greet them? *insert awkward hi here*

Fast forward to Motherhood. That started pretty early for me. I was clueless, but never really stressed what I was going to do next. I feel like it’s true your instincts just kick in, and you just sort of know things that you never thought you knew.

Zay was my surprise baby a very unexpected one. I always talked to him like an adult as a baby, and always felt he truly understood everything. When I looked into his eyes I just felt that instant maternal connection, and he was in tune with me from the very beginning. He made things easy.

My pregnancy was so smooth with little to no complications. The perfect pregnancy especially for a new young mother. Literally an angel, and exact replica of me in male form. SMART ASS for sure now. (LOL)

Noella, well she was my miracle baby. I prayed for her, and God truly answered my prayers. You know when people say you don’t really find love, it kind of finds you at the perfect time? That’s true, in my case anyway. I always say I got really lucky, but that was God’s plan in truth.

Ella’s always been the wild child, my firecracker. She lives up to everything I told her she’d be to this day! She gave me everything I needed, and when I thought I had it all figured out she’d throw a curveball my way, and it was back to the drawing board. She made it easier for me to adapt to changes. Something that’s always been very hard for me.

Emaleen aka Emmie. Our last little baby she truly caught us off guard, REALLY. I remember thinking, but we haven’t had enough time with Ella. That pregnancy would be the hardest one yet. She made me a fighter. She was a fighter, tiny but mighty is what comes to mind when I look at her. I always find myself looking at her in awe. She was forced out 1 month early because of unforeseen complications.

Emmie taught me to always fight no matter what. I catch myself looking down at her often, examining all of her features a perfect 50/50 of mom and dad. I’m completely blown away thinking, “wow she chose me, and I’m SO LUCKY.”

Motherhood has made me softer in some of the best ways. Has given me more backbone, and mouthier than I ever thought possible. (Sorry not sorry) Has shed light, and changed my prospective on things. It’s crazy to think I never thought it was for me. I can’t imagine a quiet never messy home. Motherhood is ME. It’s a lot of who I am, and I cannot imagine who I’d be without it.

Three little mini me’s to give to the world, to have their own chances to do it their kind of “right way.” Imagine thinking “I could never bring a child into THIS world.” Instead I started thinking, “What if my child is the one who changes this world?”

Uncategorized